Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
