A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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