We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
