I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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