your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
