never play flip cup with pint glasses
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
