I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
