I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
