duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
