I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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