Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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