just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
