I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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