look no pants
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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