I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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