absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
