is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
