Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
