Just cropdusted the office
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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