physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
BRING THE BAGELS
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
