i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
