I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
