i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize