I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
