Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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