I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
