Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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