from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
