Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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