I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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