She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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