I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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