Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
