Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
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