i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
