We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
