I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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