She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Randomize
