who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
