she woke up with a sticky ear
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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