margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
