He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
