ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
they're like a gay fantastic four
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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