YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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