Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
