Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
