i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
