dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
