I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Randomize