Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
