the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
my liver is dry heaving
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
