I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I could have mohawked her pubes.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
