Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
