Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
