I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
