she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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