I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
did you just send me my own nude
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
