You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
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